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| I haven't written in this thing for almost a year. I kinda forgot about it. But seeming that itis midnite and thoughts are rambling around in my head, i thought i would virtually put them down on paper. What are friendships? Who are friends? Is a friend someone who you have fun with? ...even though sometimes you don't like them or what they do? Is a friend someone who you have a shared history with?...even if that is all you have in common anymore. Is a friends someone you can share you heart with?...and if so, how do you know if they care about what you are saying. I have misjudged too many friendships to rely on my sense of friendship deepness. Is a friend someone who calls you to see how you are?....if so, i am in a world of hurt. I left the Grace bubble almost a year ago and entered the world of off-campus for a while. Now I have entered the realm of graduated Grace student in Warsaw, and awkward mix of misplace allegence, social circles, and life. What do you do when suddenly your Grace friends forget you? When your phone calls go unanswered? What does a displaced Gracie do when no boundaries are placed around her? When a bright eyed and happy girl leaves college jaded and forlorn woman? | | |
| been busy yet not at the same time lately...its been kinda odd. I had a fun weekend in chicago last week, blues dancing and hanging out in the windy city with some friends. So that was great, probably spent a little too much $ that weekend,b ut I was like its ok..I get paid this week. Well...
Come monday I get a call from my job telling me that my assignment is complete and that I don't need to come into work anymore. Out of the blue and i am semi-jobless. It was wierd, and kinda ticked me off. They told me to give them a weeks notice if I was to leave, yet they did not extend the same courtesy to me. Oh well, that's life I guess.
So, I have been sending out resumes and filling applications out all week. Today I got my first bite, a possible job interview next week. I hope it pans out, it is full time and i could use the hours. We will see what transpires, and hope for the best. | | |
| i am all alone with week, and I don't really like it. last week was amazing because i was with some friends in colorado doing crazy things like climbing pikes peak, white water rafting, and touring garden of the gods. I was with people 24/7, and now i am in my apartment alone. My roomies are gone for the week, and I am left with my two jobs to keep me occupied. I ususally don't see them anyways because they are so busy too.
It is really lonely living in a town without my family. I usually live with either my family or on a dorm floor with forty girls. To live without poeple, and having a limited number of people I know in town is hard, but I am up for the challenge. I have requested every other weekend off so I can go to church and maybe get involved that way. I knew that it was be a stretching experience, but didnt' realize that it would be a solitary one. | | |
| Wow...four years have flown by. I am sitting here, about to go to bed for my last night in a dorm room. I think back over countless hours of watching Law and Order, ordering pizza at midnight, pranks on other floors, and dance parties. Oh, when I entered Grace wide-eyed and eager for what the years had in store. I look back and wonder if I knew where I would be now. The person I have become and striving to be.
I still have a semester left, but it almost feels like I am graduating because I am living and working off campus. God has really worked in my life over the past four years, and now I am excited to be able to share this God that I have studied and gotten to know over the past four years with those around me. I will be out of the Grace bubble and I want the bubble to be strong and not bust at the first prick.
Life is not easy, and it is often painful. Those two things I know for sure. Little less sure, I am of the fact that friendships may endure. I have always left places with no strings attached. I hate good byes and stay clear of them because of the emotional display that turn me off. But I don't want to leave Grace with not strings, I want to be attached deeply and intamately with the people that have called me friend. I don't want to enter this new phase in my life as if I am starting over. | | |
| I have had a pretty busy week. Spent a lot of time at Hacienda, working alot, and next week is going to be even more I think because its Cinco de Mayo. I am going to be juggling that along with finals. It is so wierd to think that I only have one chapel left and less than two weeks to live in the dorms. While I have two classes left, I feel like I am graduating in a way because I no longer will be around for welcome weekend, go to homecoming events or live next door to best friends.
Nostalgia has been hitting me hard and it makes me think to how much I have learned and I wonder how I have changed, if any, over the last four years. Am I any different now than when I first came here. Has Grace impacted me or have I impacted Grace or is it a draw? | | |
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